


Realitystuck

by noa748



Category: Homestuck, Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Original Character(s), Self Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-16 15:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/863369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noa748/pseuds/noa748
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending a year and a half fighting for my life, my wish to go home finally came true.  I had survived and now I could return to my family and the comfort of my old life.</p><p>That's what I thought, anyway.  Then Karkat Vantas started bothering me and the FBI showed up at my door.  Why am I even surprised at this point?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Realitystuck

**Author's Note:**

> ...this is probably the shittiest title for a story I've come up with yet. XD
> 
> Hi everyone, I'm new here. Those of you who know me will have come here from my tumblr/deviantart/fanfiction account, so hello to you guys too. :D
> 
> Anyway, this fic is a SEQUEL. I don't recommend reading it unless you've read a story called New Reality, which is located here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4772320/1/New-Reality
> 
> If you've never read NR, there's a very big chance you won't know what the hell's going on. Proceed at your own risk. XD
> 
> though I normally post these plot bunnies on deviantart, I decided to put this one on here too so I could actually keep the accurate pesterlog format. now it should look nice like it does in my word document :D
> 
> this isn't exactly the best writing I've ever done, but it sure was fun. XD
> 
> so yeah, enjoy! 8D

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling noa748 [N] \--

CG: HEY  
CG: I KNOW YOU’RE THERE.  
CG: WE WENT OVER THIS. STOP ACTING LIKE I CAN’T FUCKING SEE YOU. JUST LOOKING AT YOUR STUPID FACE MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.  
CG: SO WE’RE BACK TO THIS AGAIN, HUH.  
CG: I MONOLOGUE WHILE YOU SORT OF SIT THERE LIKE A DUMBASS UNTIL ONE OF US LOGS OFF. SOUND FAMILIAR?  
CG: I THINK YOU’RE UNDERESTIMATING MY ABILITY TO DO THIS EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR SWEEPS UNTIL YOU WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BLOODBARBS. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN IGNORE YOUR PROBLEMS UNTIL THEY GO AWAY, YOU IGNORANT SHITWIPE? 

  


I pressed a hand to my forehead, staring at the messenger window that had popped up on my computer screen. So he was back for the fourth day in a row, eh? Maybe I really had underestimated him.

What the crap was a bloodbarb? From the figure of speech he was using, I had to guess he meant roses. And I still couldn’t figure out why my chat client seemed to have a trolling function reserved exclusively for this guy. It was kind of ridiculous. Honestly, though, I had to admit he was doing a really good job of imitating Karkat.

Ah, Homestuck. I remembered starting it prior to my fun adventure in Aselia, and after receiving these messages I had felt compelled to finish it. I was still having trouble not treating every fictional story as if it existed somewhere (even though I knew it probably did, overthinking stuff like that would just drive me crazy), so this particular jackass was really starting to sketch me out. I mean, what if it _was_ Karkat?.

Ugh. I didn’t exactly want to feed the troll, but he was pretty persistent even after three days straight of being ignored. Maybe I’d at least find out what the hell his problem was. His creative insults were pretty funny, but it was gonna get old.

Oh, speak of the devil. A new message had popped up—was he still ranting to himself? Jesus.

  


CG: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I GET IT. IT’S BASICALLY A HUGE WASTE OF OUR TIME.  
CG: BELIEVE ME, IF I HAD ANY FUCKING CHOICE I’D RATHER BE DOING PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING ELSE.  
CG: THE KEY PHRASE HERE BEING *IF I HAD ANY FUCKING CHOICE.*

  


I grimaced a bit. There it was again, that absurd sense of urgency. It was just stupid and it made him seem even more like someone who was roleplaying. What, was somebody holding a gun to his head? Jeez…

Well, it was time to set this guy straight.

  


N: Okay, I’ll bite. Why don’t you have any choice?  
CG: COULD I BE HALLUCINATING  
CG: OR DID THE EVER ELUSIVE BRITTANY FINALLY REPLY?  
CG: HOLD ON. I NEED TO EMBLAZON THIS MOMENT ON MY THINKPAN OR ELSE LATER I’LL THINK I MUST HAVE INGESTED A SERIOUS LOAD OF SOPOR SLIME.  
CG: DO YOU EVEN GET WHAT I’M SAYING, MY RECUPERACOON WAS DESTROYED BY A FUCKING EXPLOSION BUT AT THIS POINT IT SEEMS MORE LIKELY THAT I WOULD BE TWEAKING OUT AFTER A SLIME PIE BUFFET THAN READING AN ACTUAL FUCKING ANSWER FROM YOU.  
CG: I THINK I’M GOING TO CONSULT MY FUTURE SELF TO CONFIRM THAT THIS MOMENT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.  
N: Wow.

  


Now I was staring at the screen with a mixture of exasperation and amusement. How had he come up with that whole rant in the space of a minute? Not bad. He dropped the troll terms effortlessly too, making it even more convincing.

The slight smile dropped from my face. Nope, I was sketched out again.

After a second, the troll messaged me again.

  


CG: WELL, HE’S STILL AN ASSHOLE. BUT APPARENTLY NOW YOU’RE COOPERATING??  
N: Oh no! I should probably listen to you and do everything you say so I don’t create a paradox!  
CG: I’VE BEEN AROUND HUMANS ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND SARCASM, ASSWIPE.  
N: good, because having to explain it to you would’ve ruined the joke.  
N: seriously though, this is getting old, so you should probably tell me what the hell it is you want so I can move on with my life.  
CG: FINE  
CG: IT REALLY CHAPS MY BULGE TO HAVE TO SAY THIS AFTER HARASSING YOU FOR THREE DAYS, BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP.  
N: We? You and your troll friends?  
CG: YES ME AND MY TROLL FRIENDS, WHO THE FUCK ELSE. THERE ARE SOME HUMANS HERE TOO IF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.  
N: ...Right. So how am I supposed to help you again? You realize I’m just a lowly Earthling sitting at her computer, right?  
N: I hope you realize that, considering you can apparently see me. Which is creepy, by the way.  
CG: THE VIEWPORT IS A PRETTY BASIC FUNCTION OF TROLLIAN  
CG: ALONG WITH THE TIMELINE FUNCTION BUT I DECIDED NOT TO MESS WITH IT THIS TIME AROUND BECAUSE I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT CONVOLUTED BULLSHIT.  
CG: ANYWAY GETTING TO THE FUCKING POINT HERE, YOU AREN’T JUST SOME LOWLY POWERLESS EARTHLING AND YOU KNOW IT.  
CG: ORDINARY PEOPLE DON’T JUMP THROUGH A DIMENSIONAL FISSURE INTO A GAME UNIVERSE. REMEMBER ASELIA?

  


My hands, positioned to type out a reply, froze on the keyboard. I stared at the computer screen, my mouth falling open in a gape. Game universe. Aselia.

Of course I remembered. I only returned four months ago. What the fuck was going on?

  


CG: FINALLY WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. HERE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE SITTING HERE FONDLING MY HORNS ALL DAY.  
N: How the hell do you know about that?  
CG: WE’VE BEEN TRAVELING THROUGH PARADOX SPACE FOR AN ENTIRE SWEEP ON A COLOSSAL GREY SPHERE OF NOOKSUCKING MISERY AND ONE OF US IS A SEER.  
CG: SHE KNEW WE WERE GOING TO MEET YOU, IF YOU’RE ABLE TO WRAP YOUR ROTTING SPONGE AROUND THAT.  
N: This is insane.  
N: So you’re actually Karkat. This is really Karkat Vantas I’m talking to?  
CG: FUCK  
CG: YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW MY NAME. DON’T TELL ME I ACTUALLY USED THE TIMELINE FUNCTION AFTER ALL. THIS IS OUR FOURTH CONVERSATION, RIGHT?  
N: Nonono calm down, that’s not what I mean.  
N: I mean...wait how do you know about Aselia being a “game universe” but not about Homestuck?  
N: Homestuck is how I know who you are.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS HOMESTUCK.  
N: ...  
N: It’s a webcomic about four kids who play a game called Sburb  
N: And they have to try to save the universe with the help of the last survivors of an alien race called trolls  
N: http://www.mspaintadventures.com  
CG: HOLY SHIT.  
CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING CRAP IS THIS, IT’S BURNING MY SIGHT GLOBES.  
CG: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE JOHN??  
CG: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IN YOUR UNIVERSE MY LIFE IS JUST ONE BIG POORLY DRAWN FICTIONAL VOMITFEST?  
N: uh...well, you could call it that.  
N: or you could save your breath and just say “Homestuck” like the rest of us rational people.  
N: anyway, I was ignoring you initially because I thought you were just some Homestuck roleplayer.  
N: I mean that’s kind of the normal way to react, considering meeting someone from another “fictional” universe is ridiculously unlikely, and for it to happen to me twice is just...  
N: Either way, if you know about Aselia you must be the real deal and actually have a legitimate reason for contacting me.  
N: I still don’t know if I can help you though. I’d kind of rather not get my universe destroyed.  
CG: LOOK I GET THAT, BUT WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU IS YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE.  
CG: WHATEVER YOU DID TO GET BACK TO EARTH LEFT A DIMENSIONAL SCAR BEHIND AND IT’S BASICALLY A HUGE TARGET.  
CG: JACK IS GOING TO DISCOVER THE SCAR AND REOPEN IT IN ORDER TO JUMP AHEAD INTO ASELIA’S UNIVERSE, WHICH WE NEED TO PASS THROUGH BEFORE WE CAN REACH THE NEW SESSION.  
CG: I’M ASSUMING YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT IF THIS HOMESTUCK THING REALLY IS ABOUT US.  
N: So he’s planning on intercepting you there? Does that mean Aselia could be destroyed?!  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: IT MEANS EVERYTHING CAN AND WILL BE DESTROYED. EVERYWHERE JACK GOES. HE’S IN YOUR UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW, AND SO ARE WE, BUT WE’RE STILL AHEAD OF HIM.  
CG: WE NEED YOUR HELP BUT YOU NEED US TOO.  
N: UUUUUUUUUGH  
N: I cannot fucking BELIEVE this is happening again.  
N: God! I just spent a year and a half fighting a fucking four thousand year-old sociopathic sparkly angel and his army of soulless goons, what more do you want from me?  
N: GOD  
N: FUCKING  
N: DAMMIT.  
N: A;LSDKGHJEROAS;JKABD  
N: JGGREHGROIR0849 8HDFJKVJKFGDHG  
CG: STOP HITTING YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE KEYBOARD AND LISTEN TO ME FOR FUCK’S SAKE.  
N: M,MNVVCCDKSSKDSKIUBMNIU FGYIN BL  
CG: ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?  
CG: IS THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENING.  
N: GVGVHIOIJOVDRDIRT  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
CG: YOU ARE FUCKING SKYROCKETING UP MY HATELADDER RIGHT NOW.  
CG: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST REACHED GOD TIER STATUS. YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE PIECE OF SHIT CLOGGING THE LOAD GAPER OF HUMANITY.  
N: ...sorry. I’m just not in a good place right now.  
CG: OH CRY ME A RIVER AND DROWN YOURSELF IN IT. MY RACE IS PRACTICALLY EXTINCT AND MY PLANET IS DESTROYED, YOU THINK I’M ENJOYING MYSELF HERE?  
N: Ugh...okay okay I’m sorry.  
N: I’ll freak out later.  
N: Just tell me what I need to do.  
CG: REMEMBER THAT FILE YOU DELETED?  
CG: I’M SENDING IT TO YOU AGAIN. OPEN IT THIS TIME.  
N: Okay.

I waited for Karkat to send me a message with an attachment, feeling tense. My forehead was throbbing a bit from being whacked against the keyboard. Why had I done that? Ugh, not one of my brighter moments.

But still…I couldn’t believe this. Sure, life here had never exactly “gone back to normal” over the course of the last few months, but that only meant that I was missing Aselia—not that I wanted to play the goddamn hero all over again! Now I had to do this or Aselia would be destroyed…and probably Earth, too.

Worse yet, Homestuck wasn’t even finished. I didn’t have the secret to beating Jack or Lord English or any of that shit. I barely even understood half of what I’d read in that webcomic. Honestly, the only person who would be of any real help here would be Andrew Hussie, but it was highly unlikely he’d believe any of my bullshit unless I had his entire cast of characters backing me up.

No. I wasn’t going to worry about it right now. The only way to get through this was to keep busy, not dwell on just how screwed I was.

The message with the attachment popped up. Karkat had indeed sent the file to me before, urging me to open it. I had assumed it was a virus the first time and deleted it. Now I knew it was something much more significant.

The title of the file simply read “SBURB.”

  


N: wait this isn’t the actual game is it?  
CG: NO DUMBFUCK THE LAST THING WE NEED IS ANOTHER SESSION TO WORRY ABOUT. YOU’D BE USELESS IF THAT HAPPENED ANYWAY.  
CG: WE’RE TRYING SOMETHING ELSE.  
CG: NOW THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY ON BOARD I’M GOING TO GET A FEW OF THE OTHERS, I HAVE A FEELING THEY’LL EXPLAIN THINGS A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN I CAN.  
CG: GIVE ME A SECOND. I’LL GIVE YOU THE LINK TO THE MEMO WE’VE BEEN USING.  
N: omg fruity rumpus asshole factory please please please  
CG: FUCK YOU. I’M CREATING A NEW MEMO JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT.  
N: :(  
N: Oh crap brb, someone’s at the door.

\--noa748 [N] disconnected. --

CG: WHAT  
CG: OH YOU HAVE COMPANY, PERFECT. SURE JUST GO SAY HELLO, GOOD TO SEE YOU HAVE YOUR FUCKING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.  
CG: WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE PEOPLE?  
CG: OH  
CG: OH SHIT  
CG: FUUUUUUCK

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling noa748 [N] 

  


Though I had turned away from the computer and set my status to offline, I still heard the small ‘ding’ signifying that I had a new message. I rolled my eyes and ignored it, instead opting to get up and head for the door. Hopefully it wasn’t one of those door-to-door salesmen, ugh.

I opened the door, and what met my eyes wasn’t even remotely close to what I had been expecting. Two men in identical dark suits stood before me. One of them had short, wavy dirty blond hair; he sported a pair of wrap around sunglasses, shielding his eyes from view. The other possessed brown hair styled in a crew cut and stern grey eyes. They both looked to be young, probably in their thirties.

“Ah…hi,” I said, taken aback.

“Miss Furness?” the blond one asked. When I nodded, he reached into his pocket and extracted a badge, showing it to me.

“My name is Steven Hunter; I’m with the FBI. This is my partner, Jason Clancy. May we have a moment of your time?”

My eyes were probably the size of dinner plates by now. What the hell were the freaking feds doing standing on my doorstep? Holy crap, they had the sleek looking suits and the shades and everything. 

“…Sorry, but what’s this about?” I asked hesitantly.

“We’d like to ask you a few questions about the events surrounding your disappearance,” Agent Hunter replied.

I stiffened. “I’ve already been questioned extensively by the police and the media, sir. To be honest I was hoping I could move on with my life. Isn’t that case already closed?” 

“Five minutes of your time. That’s all we ask,” Hunter said with a polite smile, effectively evading the question.

“…All right, fine. Come in.” I caved, stepping aside to let the men through the door. There was no sense in sending them away; they would just come back again and again anyway. It had been the same with the police, up until two months ago. 

The agents walked in and I gestured over to my kitchen table. They complied, each taking a seat.

I shut the door behind me and came to stand in the middle of the kitchen.

“Coffee?” It seemed like the standard thing to offer. 

Clancy shook his head; I was beginning to suspect he was the muscle while Hunter did the talking.

“No, thank you,” the blond replied, taking his sunglasses off and setting them lightly on the table. His eyes turned out to be a subdued green.

I nodded and pulled out the third chair, sitting down as well. It took an effort to keep my face neutral; I really was not looking forward to being interrogated all over again. Agent Hunter’s ‘five minute’ excuse offered little comfort—it always turned out to be longer. Talk about irritating…I really wanted to get back to what I had been doing, too.

“All right, go ahead.” I breathed a sigh. “I can probably guess. ‘What’s your last memory before the disappearance?’ That’s your opening question, right?”

“I try to avoid asking questions I already know the answer to,” Hunter answered dryly, his lips twitching. “Your last memory is of driving your father’s car, which was found empty on the side of the road on the evening of May 24th, 2011. The airbags were deployed and your blood was on the steering wheel.”

“…Right,” I replied, frowning.

“You weren’t seen again until December 1st, 2012, when you showed up on your father’s doorstep,” Hunter continued. “Subsequent medical examinations revealed scars that hadn’t previously existed, as well as a strange change in your body’s physiology. Of course, as you’ve suffered amnesia, neither of these mysteries have been explained.”

I nearly grimaced; I hated it when they brought up my medical records. The scars were one thing, but the fact that it was evident my body had been relying on mana…that was too abnormal. It was a good thing my body seemed to have readjusted after a while, or else someone might’ve tried to study me.

“Well, you’ve got your facts straight,” I remarked. “But if you know all of that, then why are you here?”

Hunter stared at me hard. “The action of lying to an officer of the law can be classified as obstruction of justice, which is a felony. I don’t doubt that you’re a victim, but I think you should consider your position carefully here.”

“Are you accusing me of lying?” My blood ran cold, but I still felt some anger flare up. “What the hell do you people even want from me? If you consider me a victim, then why are you suddenly acting like I’m a criminal?”

“Circumstances have changed,” the blond said. “Connections have been found between your case and our current investigation, and this has become a matter of national security.”

My brow furrowed. “National security? Can you please tell me what you’re talking about?”

“What do you know about Sburb?”

It was too late; I jerked a bit before I could stop myself. Had he seriously just said Sburb?! What the hell?

Another ding came from my laptop; Karkat had messaged me again. Clancy looked over in that direction, and then slowly rose from his seat and started to move over to investigate.

“Hey!” I protested, starting to get up. “That’s—”

“Sit down,” Hunter said calmly. 

It took me a moment to realize that he had drawn his gun—he was pointing it at me beneath the table. The shock of that revelation was enough to drain the strength from my legs. I sat down.

“Wh…what are you…”

“Steve, this is it,” Clancy spoke up. He was standing over my computer. 

Hunter nodded with a frown, reaching down with one hand to put his shades back on.

“I’m afraid we’ll be confiscating that.”

“Are you serious?” I asked, my voice growing icy. Where was Kerberos? In my room—too far. Kick him under the table, force him to drop the gun? Too risky. I might still take a hit, and then there’d be Clancy to contend with. 

My mind was racing, but no solutions presented themselves, so I tried to stall.

“Hey, enlighten me. In what scenario is it legal to draw a gun on a civilian unprovoked?” My hands were shaking; I lowered them to my lap. “You can’t do this. I don’t care if you’re the fucking FBI—this is a violation of my rights.”

“You’re in possession of Sburb. In the interest of preserving the safety of the American people, I’m temporarily suspending your rights,” Hunter replied.

My eyes narrowed; suddenly I understood. These guys had no intention of following protocol. They had planned this; they had their asses covered somehow. That meant that no amount of protesting on my part was going to make a difference.

What was even going on? How did they know about Sburb and not realize it was just a fictional thing on this world?

“Now, here’s how it’s going to go down,” Hunter said. “You’re going to walk with me to the black Cadillac parked out front and we’re going to go for a drive.”

My heart was pounding. “Are you going to off me or something?”

Clancy rolled his eyes. “Cut the theatrics, Steve, you’re scaring the kid.”

The blond smiled slightly. “A little intimidation never hurt.”

“Whatever you say,” his partner muttered.

“Either way, you’re coming with me,” Hunter said to me. “I don’t want to harm you, Brittany. But if you fail to cooperate, there are no guarantees. Let me remind you again—national security is at stake. I’ll use force if necessary.”

“…Fine,” I said quietly; there was no way around it when he had a gun pointed at me. “I’ll cooperate.”

I stood up, turning towards the door. Behind me, I heard the blond agent stand up as well.

“Remove the phone from your pocket,” he said.

I winced; I had been hoping that could slip by. But of course he noticed. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the iPhone, dropping it into his outstretched hand.

“Thank you,” he said. “Continue.”

So I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Hunter followed closely behind as I walked down the stairs to the first floor and exited the apartment building. For some reason Clancy stayed behind—I realized with some measure of indignation that he was probably going to go through the contents of my apartment.

There was indeed a black Caddy in the parking lot; it was parked right beside my car. The Cadillac had government vehicle license plates—these guys were the real deal.

I got in. Hunter sat down on the driver’s side, starting the car and backing out of the parking lot.

Without a word passing between us, he began to drive. I stared out the window and watched my apartment building shrink until it finally vanished from view. It occurred to me that it might be a very long time before I sat in the comfort of my own home again.

…What the hell had I gotten myself into this time?


	2. > Dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, still writing this :D

My captor made no effort to restrain me or blindfold me or anything of the sort, so I was free to look around while he drove. I paid close attention to where we were going; with Hunter alone now, I could probably escape the moment he stopped the car if I really needed to.

Unfortunately I wasn’t really sure if doing so would really make a difference. This wasn’t like Aselia, where I would be able to go on the run and hide amongst friends until the whole thing blew over. In modern-day America, there were a lot less places to hide, especially when the government was after you.

Hunter drove and drove. Twenty minutes passed; I knew what direction we were headed in, and I wondered what his ultimate destination was. He had just entered my old hometown; I had gone to kindergarten near here. There was really nothing of note around this place except old abandoned textile mills and that tiny airport—

He was slowing down, turning down the airport road. We passed the old café I had frequented with the family as a kid, where I had stared out the window and watched the planes land.

So that was it.

The agent turned again, heading down a private drive and finally parking behind one of the airport’s large warehouses. We were suddenly hidden from view from the main road.

Hunter got out and moved around the front of the car to pull my door open for me, helping me out. He gestured for me to walk ahead of him.

When I moved around the corner of the warehouse to where the doors were, I saw a small group of suited men standing on the runway in front of what looked like a private jet.

That was when all of this became real, really real. Those were real government agents and this was actually happening and how the hell could this be actually happening?

I opened my mouth to say something, to protest, anything—but it was at that moment that I felt the prick on the back of my neck. 

I had allowed Hunter to walk behind me…stupid…

As the sedative began to set in, I felt my knees buckling beneath me. A pair of arms caught me before I could hit the pavement. Then I was floating, floating…the world darkened and eventually faded away.

\---- 

The first sight to meet my eyes was a dark sky filled with distant stars. Though it was a sight I’d beheld thousands of times before, somehow it was different now. Everything was sort of…hazy.

I was lying on what felt like cobblestone. Sitting up, I looked around. Purple buildings surrounded me on all sides, their tall spires reaching up to the heavens. Several dark figures had stopped nearby, staring at me. I stared right back.

_Not human._

I blinked, studying them. They had pitch black skin that was slightly shiny, almost as if it was more of a shell. They possessed round heads with no noses to speak of, thin limbs, and slightly hunched figures.

_Derse…Carapacians._

Sure, that made sense. How was I here again? Why were they staring at me like that? There was a group now, forming a rough circle around me.

I slowly got to my feet and they backed off a step, eyes wide. What was going on? Last thing I remembered…uh…

My thoughts were cut off; it was at that point that my gaze had drifted down to my hands and consequently to my sleeves, which just happened to be gold for some reason.

Oh. I was clad in a golden dress with a moon embroidered on the breast—a Prospitian outfit? 

So many questions were coming to mind at once that it was hard to sort through them all, especially with how dazed I was feeling. Prospit and Derse…what had Karkat been trying to accomplish earlier? Where were those FBI guys? What had happened, why was I asleep? I was dreaming, right?

A taller carapacian pushed his way through the small crowd that had formed. I paused in my examination of my outfit, making eye contact with the newcomer. He did not look happy.

Then I saw the small spade stitched into his outfit and made the connection. Jack Noir.

The onlookers quickly backed off when Jack pulled a dagger from his belt, scowling at me and revealing a set of menacing sharp teeth. I began to back away as well, instinctively fishing for my sword and tensing up when I realized it wasn’t strapped to my back.

Well, that meant it was time for Plan B, also known as _run the fuck away._ I turned tail and—and realized that a wall of Dersites was blocking my way. They didn’t want me to leave. Oh, shit, I was wearing Prospitian clothes and they weren’t going to let me go.

There was nowhere to run. I turned back around to face the Archagent, who was coming closer and closer, his arm tensing as he prepared to thrust the blade towards me. Dersites crowded around me and I knew they were going to hinder my ability to dodge. I was going to get stabbed. I was going to die.

Growing frantic, I tried to pinpoint an area to lash out at. Did carapacians have weak spots? Maybe aim for the gut. Needed to fight back, no time—

Just as my legs were tensing for a kick, I felt something grab me by the arm and yank me backwards. I was pulled through the wall of carapacians; the pressing crowd closed the gap I’d created almost immediately, effectively blocking Jack off from me. I heard him let out a yell of rage as his stab missed and his dagger sank into the side of an innocent bystander.

I saw red blood paint the purple cobblestones and decided that I’d seen enough, instead attempting to turn and run with whatever was pulling me along. 

Suddenly I was free from the crowd, yanked into an alleyway just as I finally managed to turn around.

The person tugging me along was a guy with blond hair that was spiked up in the back. He was clad in purple Dersite garb. And when he looked over his shoulder to check on me, I saw that he was wearing a pair of pointy triangle shades.

Holy shit. _Dirk._

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to say something, but he silenced me with a minute shake of his head. Still too close to the ruckus to talk.

Then he tugged my arm more firmly and I nodded, beginning to run harder. We moved through a maze of intersecting alleyways that ran between Derse’s huge cathedral-esque buildings. I honestly couldn’t understand how he could remember the way so well—it was blatantly obvious from his decisive movements that this was a planned route.

Finally we reached a precipice overlooking an enormous structure—I realized with shock that I was staring at a huge chain. At the top…Derse’s moon.

Dirk still had a firm hold on my arm. He jumped over the precipice, taking me with him. My heart caught in my throat as I saw the shapes of buildings beneath us; there was no way we could make a safe landing. The jump was suicidal! 

I gasped, my body freezing up, but then something unexpected happened—we didn’t fall. Instead we rose higher into the air; at first I thought it was solely because of him, but then I realized that I could propel myself, too. That was right…dream selves could fly, couldn’t they? This was insane!

The sudden revelation did nothing to calm my nerves or ease my fear of heights. Forcing myself not to look down, I continued to follow Dirk, who was ascending at an increasing speed. It wasn’t long before the chain was nothing but a blur before us, Derse’s moon coming closer and closer.

When we reached the moon, he directed me between buildings at a heart-stopping speed, expertly dodging spires and outcroppings in the process. Though I was just about ready to crap myself, somewhere in the back of my mind I understood—we were moving too fast for anyone to give chase. We had long since lost our pursuers.

Finally there came one last shorter tower. Dirk pulled me up and we were suddenly bursting through the window and into a bedroom. I tumbled in, flipping over once and somehow managing to slow my momentum enough that I didn’t smash into the wall. Instead my back thumped lightly against it and I tilted my head back, heaving a sigh.

“You all right?” For the first time, Dirk spoke, causing me to look up. He was still on the other side of the room, watching me. The shades he wore obscured his eyes completely and his mouth was a thin line, not quite a frown—his face was impossible to read.

Remembering myself, I forced a smile. “Ah, yeah. Thanks…”

He offered a small nod in reply, turning to stare out the window for a moment. He seemed to be scoping out the surroundings. Could anyone still be following us, or was this a good hiding spot? 

After a few seconds of this, Dirk turned away from the window and fixed me with what I took to be an appraising look. 

“I don’t recognize you. Do we know each other?”

I couldn’t stop myself from flinching a little. “Um—no, not exactly.”

“’Not exactly?’” His only real response was to raise an eyebrow slightly, but he moved on almost immediately. “Well, anyway. For future reference, you’re wearing a big yellow target and napping in the streets is generally frowned upon around these parts. Welcome to the neighborhood.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Sorry. I really didn’t mean to put you at risk, too.”

“It’s fine. I could’ve just stood aside if I was that concerned about my own skin. Frankly I’m just wondering who the hell you are and how you got here.”

Now he offered what seemed to be an expectant look, though his expressions were so subtle that I really could only guess.

Unsure of what to say, I found myself looking away, examining the contents of the room while I gathered my thoughts. It was really freaking red in here.

“My name’s Brittany Furness,” I told him, finally looking up. “And to be honest I have no idea how or why I’m here. I don’t know why I’m in Prospitian clothes, I don’t know why I even _have_ a dream self, I don’t know why I’m on Derse, I don’t know what the _fuck’s_ going on.”

That was all I intended to say, but it turns out I couldn’t shut up after that. I was still a bit shaken up from nearly getting stabbed by Jack fucking Noir and Dirk was practically my best friend in my mind after saving my ass like that. I just wanted someone to listen, even though I knew he wouldn’t have any solutions for me.

“Look, I…” I ran a hand through my bangs, stressed. “I don’t know when I’ll wake up so I don’t think I can explain much, but I kind of know about you and your friends. Anyway I’m from Earth, only not your Earth or your timeline, it’s an entirely different Earth in an alternate universe, at least I think that’s the right way to put it?”

While I had begun to pace the room, Dirk remained motionless and silent, other than the slight turning of his head that indicated he was watching me. I chewed on my lower lip, sidestepping the pile of smuppets that threatened to trip me up.

“So it’s an alternate Earth. And this troll contacts me, saying he needs my help, and he sends me Sburb only it isn’t Sburb? And then before I can even see what the fuck the file really is, the FBI shows up at my doorstep, points a gun at me, confiscates my laptop, and practically kidnaps me. I think the only reason I’m sleeping is because they injected me with some kind of tranquilizer and Jesus how the _hell_ am I even here.”

Finally I finished my rant, pausing to take a breath. I looked over at Dirk, and he was just standing there with his arms crossed.

“Well, that made absolutely no sense.”

I nearly groaned. “My life makes no sense! I don’t even know how to explain it more clearly!”

“Sounds like you need to get out of this jam with the FBI first of all,” Dirk remarked. “Gotta sort out your shit there before we figure out what’s going on here.”

“I—I guess,” I said, faltering a bit. “But how—“

“Your dream self isn’t going anywhere,” he replied. “You can’t, anyway. If you leave this room you’ll get killed.” Now he gestured over to a bed in the corner. “Lay down over there. You should wake up soon if you do. Don’t worry about me, I don’t sleep. Anyway, I want to try something.”

“Okay.” I went over to the bed, a bit numb, but Dirk’s calm voice was pretty persuasive. He was the only rational sounding person I’d encountered in this mess. “Wait, what did you want to try?”

“TimaeusTestified,” he said.

I gave him a puzzled look. “Huh?”

“My chumhandle. Yours?”

It clicked, and my eyes widened. “Um. Noa748.”

“Got it. First order of business when you wake up is to find a computer.”

I was still staring at him with surprise. Would it actually work?

“Okay—“

Then, unexpectedly, everything around me vanished.

\---- 

Awakening for the second time was a strange feeling. While before everything had had a sort of haziness due to the dream, now reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything was brought into sharp focus, the world seeming too harsh all of a sudden. And at the same time, my body felt sluggish and slow to react. That was probably the aftereffects of whatever sedative they had given me.

I was in a small square room with off white walls and a polished tile floor. The bed I lay on was nothing more than a thin mattress with an uncomfortable metal frame. 

Other than a nightstand next to the bed, a chair near the door, and a small television mounted on one wall, the room held no furniture. Everything here was very generic and impersonal; it felt like a glorified prison cell.

I realized with a frown that that was what it probably was. It was now that I noticed the small surveillance camera positioned in the top left hand corner of the room. Jesus.

My first action was to stand up on wobbly legs and move to the door. It was locked, of course.

Now I moved to the only other exit to the room, the single window on the north wall. I seemed to be on the first floor of the building. The window overlooked a wide green lawn with a few trees. It also revealed what looked to be another wing of the building on my east side.

A wing of the building…the fact that this building had actual _wings_ probably wasn’t good. This was a legitimate establishment, which meant I was probably officially incarcerated and there would be guards preventing me from leaving and everything. My chances of escape had just dropped drastically.

There was a small parking area within view of the window with four cars parked there, all of them unremarkable sedans with similar build. Other than that I didn’t see any signs of people, and there was nothing that looked like a public road in sight.

Well, shit.

This wasn’t good. But still—I had to get out. Needed to find a computer and talk to Karkat and figure out what he wanted me to do before it was too late and Jack blew this whole operation to smithereens. These FBI guys didn’t realize what they were really doing by keeping me here!

I gritted my teeth, pausing to listen for a minute to make sure no one was coming. Then I walked over to the chair next to the door, reaching down to pick it up—only to realize it was bolted to the floor.

Of course. I realized with growing frustration that the bed was bolted down too, as well as the nightstand—this really was a fucking prison cell. Couldn’t have me acting up, now could they?

Well, that didn’t matter. I had my Exsphere on me.

I walked up to the window, balled up one fist, and tried pounding on it as hard as I could. Pain instantly exploded in the side of my hand and I stumbled backwards, tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. Oh, fuck, that hurt. Dammit, dammit—it was a good thing I hadn’t tried to punch it, or I would have broken my fingers!

All my efforts had left behind was a single mark in the glass, not quite a crack. What the _hell._

“I’d advise against trying that again,” a voice came out of nowhere, causing me to jump.

I swung around to see Agent Hunter standing there; he was just closing the door behind him. The shades were nowhere to be seen this time, but his gaze was still difficult to read.

His eyes wandered to the window behind me, a frown tugging at his lips. “That’s high grade security glass with a bulletproof polycarbonate laminate. You won’t be able to smash it very easily.”

“…I see,” I mumbled, rubbing my sore hand.

Hunter walked over, still staring at the window. He reached up and rubbed one thumb over the mark I’d left.

“…Huh.” He turned to give me a searching look.

“Wh-What?” I asked, taken aback.

He shook his head. “I’m having that pane replaced. In the meantime, come with me.”

Left with no choice, I did as he said. We walked out into a hallway possessing the same off white walls as my room, and then we proceeded down a series of identical confusing corridors.

At a few instances we passed people in similar suits who offered a nod or smile in acknowledgement to Hunter. Some of the people were in business casual dress, and I even saw one person wearing a white lab coat. 

After several minutes of this, I began to grow convinced that Hunter was leading me in circles to keep me confused about the layout to this place. Then we unexpectedly stopped at a door, and the agent gestured for me to head inside.

It turned out to be a small room with a hanging light and a single table beneath it. An interrogation room.

When I paused at the door, Hunter placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t be intimidated. I have just a few questions for you, nothing serious. Take a seat.”

Nothing serious? I made a face, but walked over and sat down nonetheless. Hunter took off his blazer and draped over the back of his own chair before sitting down as well. He loosened his tie a bit, giving off an air of being at ease while I suspected he was just the opposite.

“You say it’s nothing serious, but you pretty much kidnapped me,” I remarked in a low voice, scowling.

“Detainment and kidnapping are two entirely different things,” Hunter replied easily. “Unfortunately, you’ve gotten caught up in some very delicate matters. We couldn’t afford to take any chances. So, here we are.”

“Where is ‘here,’ exactly?” 

He shook his head. “Classified information.”

“Classified, huh? I guess that’s why you had to drug me up before bringing me here,” I muttered.

“I apologize, but as I’ve said, these are delicate matters. Your involvement isn’t as serious as I initially thought, but I still need answers.”

The agent met my gaze, his eyes grave. Finally I could see real emotion in his eyes, and he suddenly seemed so much more human. Something was going on that he truly didn’t like. He really thought the country’s safety was at stake—he was taking this extremely seriously.

But at the same time, so was I. We both thought we knew what was best, and that put us at odds. But now that I was thinking about it, I could at least begin to understand what might be going through his head.

“I’ll tell you what I can, but I just want to know what this is all about first,” I replied, folding my hands on the table.

“Fair enough,” Hunter said with a nod. “First I’ll ask you this. What do you know about Sburb?”

I couldn’t stop myself from giving him a strange look. It was still bizarre, the fact that he was even asking me that question. I decided to be honest with him, though, and give a genuine answer.

“It’s a game from this webcomic called Homestuck,” I said.

“Let’s not talk about the webcomic—we’re talking about Sburb specifically. Do you know what it’s capable of?” Hunter was watching me carefully.

I blinked, completely baffled. He was talking like he knew about Homestuck! He knew Sburb was fictional but still—?! What the hell? Okay, this was officially nuts.

“It…uh…” It took me a moment to recover, but I eventually pulled myself together. “Well, it…playing it generally causes the destruction of the player’s home planet via meteor—hold on.”

The agent was giving me that same grave look. My mouth fell open in a gape.

“Don’t tell me _that’s_ the national security threat you’re worried about! Did you miss the part about it being fictional?”

“Let’s drop the charade for now, okay? We both know it exists. I believe because I make a living dealing in strange secrets. You believe because you spent a year and a half away from Earth and you’ve seen far more than you’re letting on.” He pulled out a folder that he had prepared, taking a moment to flip through it while I continued to gape.

He knew? How did he know? Holy shit. Karkat knowing was bad enough…but this government agent? We lived in a day and age where everything needed to be proved scientifically in order to be viable. How could he say something so fantastical with a completely straight face? It was the truth, but he actually _believed_ it?

“There’s no way you’re just a regular FBI agent,” I murmured in shock.

He smiled thinly, looking up. “Let’s stay on topic. You asked me what this was about—it’s about Sburb. I’m trying to prevent a series of events that could lead to the destruction of the world as we know it due to an involvement with that game.” He closed the folder, which I noticed had a green Sburb logo printed on the front.

“As we know, Sburb is a game that exists in an alternate universe, one that is considered fictional here. Therefore it can’t harm our world unless it’s first introduced somehow. The solution is to eliminate the problem at its source.” The smile faded. “We’ll be investigating this further and examining the file you were sent. In the meantime you’ll be remaining here.”

My stomach clenched. Imprisoned here—just what I was afraid of. I couldn’t do anything if I was stuck under guard!

“You don’t understand,” I protested. “If you keep me here, I—“

“You won’t cause any problems,” Hunter finished for me, his eyes hard. “If you want to help, answer my questions truthfully.”

I opened my mouth to shoot back a retort, but one look at his face told me that it was useless. He wasn’t going to listen to anything else I had to say unless it was in reply to one of his inquiries. Dammit…

“…Fine,” I said. The sluggishness caused by the remainder of the drug in my system combined with my frustration with the current predicament had me practically on the edge of angry tears by now. He thought he knew what was best, but he just didn’t _get it._

“Tell me how you came into possession of that file,” Hunter said. “Who sent it to you?”

Just as I opened my mouth to reply, there was a hasty knocking at the door. The agent grimaced and shook his head.

“Son of a bitch. Of all the times…” he muttered, but got up and walked over to the door nonetheless.

For a moment he spoke in hushed voices with the person at the door, and I caught a few swears thrown in here and there. Every second he stood there, Hunter seemed to grow more and more agitated. Finally he sent the person away and turned to look at me.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

I nodded minutely, frowning. He closed the door, and then I was alone. What the hell had that been about? 

I didn’t have to sit there long before ideas of escape started making their way to the front of my mind. Was it possible? It didn’t look like Hunter had bothered to lock the door. But we had passed plenty of personnel on the way to this room; there was no way I could just walk out. I’d be caught in a heartbeat—not to mention I had no idea where I was. For all I knew, I was on the opposite side of the United States right now.

Ugh…what was I supposed to do? I might not get an opportunity like this again, so—

Suddenly a new thought came to mind. When he had taken my phone from me earlier…hadn’t he put it in the pocket of his blazer?

I stared at the seat across from me for a moment, wide-eyed. Then I looked at the door. Coast was clear…

I lunged for the blazer and immediately dug through the right pocket. My hand hit the familiar shape of the iPhone and I inwardly cheered. When I pressed the button to light up the screen, I saw the background I had set and knew that it really was my phone.

Okay, okay…what now? Who to call? It looked like there was service, but would they be able to intercept my call? I needed to be careful.

Then I had another idea. If I just asked Karkat right now, maybe he could tell me what the hell he had sent me in that Sburb file so I could have some idea of what I was supposed to do. It wasn’t much, but it was really all I had to go on right now, so it’d have to do.

I found my messenger app and opened it up, and was surprised to see that I had a message waiting for me already.

It was from…holy crap.

 

** \-- timeausTestified [TT] began pestering noa748 [N] \-- **

TT: Hey.


	3. > Waste time talking to coolkids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER: SHENANIGANS.
> 
> okay not much gets accomplished in this one but hey it was fun! still getting the hang of writing all the characters but I think I did okay? 
> 
> anyway yeah, enjooooy~

\-- timeausTestified [TT] began pestering noa748 [N] \--

TT: Hey.  
N: Whoa  
N: Dirk??  
TT: I see you found yourself a computer.  
TT: Looks like you weren’t pulling my leg after all. Though considering some of the shit I’ve seen, I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised.

 

His reply came surprisingly swiftly, but then I remembered that he had a computer programmed right into his shades. I sat there with my phone, heart pounding, and tried to think of something worthwhile to say.

 

N: Yeah I understand, I mean it’s pretty nuts even from my perspective  
N: Sorry ugh I’m kind of pressed for time over here, the guy questioning me got called out of the room because I guess something big happened.  
N: I think he left the door unlocked but there’s so many feds here that it’d probably be useless trying to get out.  
TT: Maybe.  
TT: But sitting there and doing nothing only turns your imprisonment into an inevitability.  
TT: If they know the true nature of Sburb, then that’s the only viable conclusion. I can see why they’d be trying to stop you.  
N: ...  
N: Could they be right?  
N: I mean on one hand, the troll I talked to told me bad things were going to happen if I didn’t act, but...  
N: I know what Sburb does. Maybe I’m better off leaving it in their hands?  
TT: That’s a load of horseshit.  
TT: If your dream self is awake, then it means you were fated to end up in the session all along.  
TT: Nothing they do will change that.  
N: Dammit  
N: I guess that kind of makes sense.  
N: I need to talk to that troll. Are you sticking around?  
TT: I’ve got time.  
TT: Besides, this is interesting.  
TT: Talk to me in a few minutes. I’m going to see what I can do about your situation.  
N: Right, thanks.

 

I breathed a sigh, trying to calm my racing heart. A few minutes had already passed and Hunter still wasn’t back, but I was running out of time. Before I could even think about messaging Karkat, I needed to change locations.

Moving quickly, I pocketed the phone and moved towards the door. There were no discernable sounds coming from the other side, but I wasn’t sure if this room was soundproof or not. It looked like I’d have to take a chance.

The knob turned without a hitch. I held my breath, pulling the door open and poking my head into the hallway.

It was empty.

Well, that made my life a hell of a lot easier. But what was going on? Where was everybody? Part of me was tempted to see if I could find an exit while my captors were distracted, but I had a feeling that would be pushing my luck.  
Instead I shut the door behind me and began to make my way down the hall as stealthily as I could. Confusing hallways, endless doors, always on the lookout for hostiles…ha, this felt familiar. How many times had I gotten stuck running around Desian ranches in the past? Well, at least these guys hopefully didn’t intend to kill me.

Once I started checking doors, I found that most of them were locked and thus weren’t satisfactory hiding places. I didn’t have any passcodes, and there was nobody around to steal a key card from. Shit.

Then, suddenly, my eyes fell upon a door that was cracked open. I approached it warily, listening hard. There didn’t seem to be anyone in there.

The plate on the door read JASON CLANCY.

Uh, whoa. Clancy? As in, Hunter’s partner? This could be interesting. Worth the risk of investigating, though? Clancy was solidly built, looking like he possessed some definite muscle beneath that suit of his. If he came back while I was here, he could probably punch my lights out without batting an eyelash. I wasn’t a fan of getting my lights punched out.

Well, better not get caught, then. I pushed the door open and slipped inside. Just taking a peek, right?

It turned into much more than a peek when I spotted my stuff scattered all over his desk.

Anger churned in my stomach as I examined the things that had been stolen from me, my personal life exposed and my secrets picked apart. My laptop was open on the desk, sitting next to Clancy’s own desktop monitor. A USB cable connected the two.

There was my bag from Aselia sitting on the floor, though it was almost empty; most of the contents were strewn on the desk. Leftover gels, my notebook, my coat and gloves, knickknacks and mementos from old friends…

Then there was my sword, unsheathed, parked dead center. Of course Kerberos wouldn’t be safe from discretion; now they probably thought I was violent or something. I sure felt like being violent right now.

I took a deep breath, shaking my head. Now was not the time to get pissed off. Sure they were completely ignoring my constitutional rights, but they probably earnestly thought they were doing the right thing. I just had to prove them wrong. They weren’t going to give me a chance to do that; I had to give myself the chance. So sorry, Clancy, but I was reclaiming all of my shit. These FBI assholes better steer clear of me now that I had Kerberos, or they’d be in for a rude awakening. 

Taking Kerberos’ sheath, I slung it over my shoulders. Then I proceeded to shove everything back into my bag, including my laptop. I paused just long enough to swallow an orange gel; though Earth had no mana, those gels contained just enough to get me out of a pinch.

Having my sword in hand brought an enormous sense of relief. I wasn’t used to tackling these types of situations without some kind of weapon, and the familiar feeling of the grip made me feel a bit more grounded.

All in all, when I left the office, I was feeling pretty awesome. My anger had morphed into a kind of steadfast determination to get to the fucking bottom of all this bullshit, and I was one hundred percent ready to kick ass and take names.

Then I saw the shadow of several agents coming around the corner, realized how badly a confrontation could actually turn out, and abruptly decided to take a less assertive approach. Time to find that hiding place.

My momentary feeling of awesome completely deflated when in the next minute I found myself sitting in a bathroom with my back to the door. Yeah…not so badass. Who was I kidding, anyway?

None of the other doors had been open and in my moment of panic, I had rushed in here. In hindsight it wasn’t too awful of a hiding place, considering the personnel here probably wouldn’t think twice about the door being locked. I still felt pretty silly sitting next to a toilet with a sword in my lap.

This was stupid. Time to get down to business already so I could hopefully get out of here.

I pulled out my phone again, knowing that my laptop wouldn’t be able to connect. There were still no messages from Dirk; I left that conversation alone for a minute, opening a new tab in the client and messaging Karkat instead.

 

\-- noa748 [N] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

N: Karkat!  
N: Hey, sorry about earlier. Listen, I’m kind of in a huge bind right now and I REALLY need you to tell me what the hell’s going on.  
N: Like, ASAP. I’m in big trouble here.  
N: Hello?  
N: oh for the love of god please answer  
CG: hey  
N: jesus don’t scare me like that!  
N: wait  
N: did you finally break the caps lock? what gives?  
CG: no this isnt karkat  
CG: sorry hes not here right now actually  
CG: wait this just feels wrong hang on  
CG: okay thats better  
CG: anyway yeah hes kinda preoccupied i just happened to be in his room when his computer went off  
CG: what the fuck is this thing in the corner  
CG: oh gross is that slime  
CG: do trolls like sleep in this thing or what i mean how do they not drown in that shit  
CG: sorry this is really distracting did you need something or can i take a message  
N: ...you’re in his room?  
CG: kind of  
CG: long story  
CG: wait who are you anyway noa748 is kind of a weird chumhandle  
CG: its like you didnt want to follow the rules of how chumhandles work which basically is not cool

 

I stared at the red text, resisting the strong urge to facepalm. In another context I would be laughing, but Dave went off on tangents almost as much as Karkat did, and I really didn’t have that kind of time. Gah, at least his brother could get to the point when he needed to!

 

N: That’s because I’m not really using pesterchum.  
N: it’s kind of hard to explain, partly because I don’t really get it either.  
CG: weird  
CG: wait whats this button do  
CG: whoa this is that sweet viewport the trolls use isnt it  
CG: huh so thats what you look like  
CG: why are you in a bathroom and why is there a sword in your lap  
N: I’m hiding, there are people after me.  
CG: in a bathroom  
CG: ok thats pretty lame not gonna lie  
CG: you can do better you have an awesome sword  
N: HOLY CRAP this is going off topic!  
N: Yes I’m in a bathroom yes I have a sword yes my chumhandle is weird yes this is what I look like, see I’m making a very irritated face at you right now.  
N: Karkat helped get me into this mess, I need someone to help get me out!  
CG: sure im down just say the word  
CG: kinda need to know who you are and whats happening though just saying  
CG: do you have a name or what  
CG: here ill get you started hi im dave master of irony and sick beats  
N: Hi I’m Brittany, and I’m a magnet for bad luck and people with problems.  
N: Karkat tells me you guys need my help.  
CG: oh holy shit  
CG: youre that person rose was talking about arent you  
N: Yeah.  
CG: okay hold on im switching to my ishades i think this dream bubbles passing

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG]  disconnected. --

 

I tapped one finger against my knee, biting my lip and trying hard to suppress my fidgeting. Come on, Dave…

After a few seconds, a new message popped up.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering noa748 [N] \--

TG: okay im back  
TG: so whats going on why are people after you  
N: Karkat sent me a file titled “Sburb” and then literally two seconds later I have the FBI knocking at my door.  
N: I’ve been drugged and taken to I don’t know where.  
TG: whoa the fbi seriously  
TG: thats right i forgot you were on some crazy alternate earth  
TG: man but thats nuts i never thought contacting you would end up with the party van busting down your door  
TG: this is like one of johns shitty movies  
TG: listen what you need to do is take that sword and solo your way through that entire army base or whatever that place is  
TG: find the control room there should be a self destruct button  
TG: then you press the button and casually walk out as the place goes up in flames behind you thats the way the action heroes do it  
TG: hahahahaha self destruct button thats fucking great like any place would ever have something that stupid  
N: actually I’ve used one of those self destruct buttOH MY GOD THAT’S NOT THE POINT. DAVE THE FUCKING FBI IS AFTER ME AND I’M SITTING NEXT TO A FUCKING TOILET TALKING TO YOU ABOUT ACTION MOVIE CLICHES  
TG: yeah this is actually pretty rad we should do this again sometime  
TG: anyway right the file  
TG: i know what that is  
N: seriously??  
TG: yeah do you still have it  
TG: just saying its probably really bad news if they have it  
N: um  
N: hang on let me look.

 

My stomach sank even as I was opening up my laptop to check. My computer had been connected to Clancy’s via USB cable when I found it, and that was already a very bad sign. Ugh, why hadn’t I checked the agent’s computer then? Now it was too late—I could hear voices in the hall outside.

It was as I had feared. The messenger window on my laptop was still open, Karkat’s conversation with me visible. Now I read the messages he had left after I had gone to answer the door; well, it looked like he had flipped out, and for good reason.

Either way, the fact that Karkat’s conversation was open meant the link to the file was in plain view. I had started to download it before, but now that I was searching I couldn’t find the Sburb file saved anywhere on the computer. My trash bin had been emptied too.

The only way I could download the file again would be by connecting to the internet to access the link again. Unfortunately as I suspected, all of the Wi-Fi networks in this building were secure. My phone was only connected via 4G, and I was surprised that even that was working.

Dammit. It didn’t matter—the fact that the file wasn’t on my computer anymore meant that Clancy had transferred it to his.

 

N: ...I think they have it.  
TG: figures  
TG: itd be too easy otherwise  
TG: well ok we need to figure out how to get it back or at least access it then  
TG: id help you but im pretty fucking useless where i am now all i can do is offer moral support  
N: what does the file do? I’m tired of this big mystery surrounding it.  
TG: its how youre going to enter  
TG: a free ride basically doesnt get much better than that  
TG: except if a bunch of fbi guys enter instead of you i guess  
TG: thatd be pretty stupid considering we only get one shot at this and i really dont want this place to be overrun with suit wearing tightwads  
N: uhhh how I’m going to enter?  
N: is this going to involve a meteor?  
TG: i dont think so  
TG: youre entering without creating a new session  
TG: just hopping in with us  
N: well shit. I guess I better get to it then.  
N: Hold on, some agents are talking outside the door. I’m gonna listen in and see if I can figure out what’s going on  
TG: got it

 

I leaned back, pressing my ear to the bathroom door. Surely enough, the voices continued on behind me. It sounded like a pair of agents, a man and a woman; several people had passed by since my conversation with Dave started, but these two had paused long enough for eavesdropping to be viable.

They both seemed agitated. Maybe they had noticed I was gone?

“This is fucking ridiculous,” the male said. “How the hell did he even get in past the retinal scans?! That area is executive clearance only! Is the Director—“

“Sir, he’s safe in his office. He’s the only one here other than you who could’ve opened those locks, but you’ve both been on camera the whole time…” The female sounded bewildered.

“Listen, Val. He just breezed through our highest security like it was nothing and stole a sample of highly enriched U-235. If this gets out, the Sector gets shut down. Washington will have our _heads.”_

“Are you sure it’s not an inside job?” the woman asked hesitantly. “Someone working undercover…an Agency mole?”

“Agency?” the man repeated incredulously. “The asshole’s wearing face paint, purple pajamas and a fucking _codpiece._ Somehow I doubt this lunatic works for the government.”

Sitting in the bathroom just feet away, I felt my eyebrows shoot up. No…they weren’t talking about who I thought they were talking about, were they? That couldn’t be right. There was no way.

…But who else did I know of that dressed like that?

Suddenly a third set of footsteps came running up.

“Sir.” I recognized the voice to be that of Clancy.

“What is it?” 

“The girl escaped.”

Then followed a series of expletives that caused even me to cringe. Though at the same time, I almost wanted to grin victoriously at how I had pulled one over on them.

“Nobody was watching the door?!” He demanded furiously.

“Steve assigned guards, but it looks like they got caught up in all the commotion,” Clancy replied. “Not only that, we just found out that the code contained in her file is compatible with the machine. She seems to have gotten it from one of the Outsiders.”

“Those horned freaks?” the man growled. 

“Speaking of horns, I got a good glimpse of our intruder,” Clancy continued. “As far as our descriptions of the Outsiders go, he definitely fits the bill.”

“That’s impossible,” the female spoke up. “How would he have gotten here?”

“Add that to the list of crap that makes no sense,” their leader said with a frustrated sigh. “Where’s Steve?”

“On the hunt,” Clancy replied.

“Oh, har har. After the girl, then?”

“As far as I know. Don’t worry, every end of the building is secure. Maybe that ridiculous clown can get around somehow, but she’s a sitting duck.”

Behind the bathroom door, I wanted to groan at that. He didn’t know how right he was. Clearly now the agents were getting coordinated, the previous chaos caused by Gamzee’s appearance fading. 

“Well, all right,” the man said, seeming to calm down a bit. “Show me this file. Val, I’m heading out. In the meantime, get your team together and find that purple sonofabitch.”

“Yessir,” the woman said.

Then the three of them split up, the sounds of their footsteps fading down the hall until everything was silent once more.

I heaved a sigh. This was growing more complicated by the minute. Not only did the agents have the file, but they were figuring out how to use it somehow? Gamzee was here, which made no sense and actually sort of terrified me, and apparently Hunter had noticed I was gone and was now scouring the building for me. Awesome.

Now I glanced at my phone again. There were two new messages; I checked the one from Dave first.

 

TG: whats the deal  
N: a lot of shit went down, apparently. I might have to explain later. Right now I have to figure out how to get that file before the other guys use it.  
TG: all right sounds good lets get shit done  
TG: where doing it man  
N: where MAKING THIS HAPEN  
TG: holy shit even people in alternate earths know about sbahj  
TG: this is like my crowning moment of awesome i didnt know my irony transcended realities  
N: haha Dave you don’t know the half of it!  
N: I swear you’re going to do an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle when I tell you the full story  
N: but now I have to go find that file!  
N: talk to you in a bit, if I’m not locked up somewhere.  
TG: now you know about my shitty memes wow its like weve met or something  
TG: really hope this doesnt involve time shenanigans i thought i was done with that  
TG: anyway drop me a line later then  
TG: bye

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering noa748 [N] \--

I closed the tab that held my conversation with Dave, now moving on to my still open conversation with Dirk. How would Dave feel if he knew I essentially had his brother on the other line? Well, it hadn’t seemed like the best thing to bring up, anyway. It was hard enough to keep the guy on topic.

Either way, it looked like Dirk had left me a message five minutes ago. Time to see what he wanted and then hopefully get the hell out of dodge.

 

TT: You’re taking a while.  
N: Sorry, I’m back. I had to change locations and stuff happened.  
N: I figured out what the Sburb file is apparently supposed to do.  
TT: It’s going to facilitate an entry into our session, isn’t it?  
N: Well—yeah, that’s pretty much it. How did you know?  
TT: It makes sense. You’re one of the Heroes, therefore you’re bound to arrive at some point in the future.  
N: Wait, I’m a Hero?  
TT: So a reliable informant tells me. But let’s not worry about that right now. You have to access that file before anyone else does.  
TT: I can help you with that.  
N: Please tell me you have an awesome plan.  
TT: My plans are never anything less than exemplary. Check it.

 

I raised my eyebrows, staring at the link he had left. When I clicked on it, it opened a new tab in my chat client and started a conversation.

 

\-- noa748 [N] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] \--

N: uh  
N: hi?  
TG: fiiiiiiiiianallly  
TG: do u no how long i was waiting  
TG: anyway  
TG: hi im roxy an imma hax yo phone for a bit just hang tit  
TG: *tight lmao  
TG: actually no i take that back hang on to ur tits hahaha  
N: What are you

 

My phone abruptly blacked out as I was typing the message.


	4. > Enter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homestuck has basically eaten my life. This is just too fun to write :D
> 
> Surprise at the end of the chapter! This is where the crossover starts B-)

My phone abruptly blacked out as I was typing the message. When the screen lit up again, it was on a loading screen.

Then I watched in amazement as the internet browser opened itself and a cursor appeared on the iPhone’s screen, operated by an invisible hand. Roxy then proceeded to hack into the organization’s intranet and I found myself staring at a sleek looking top-secret government page.

The banner at the top read “EXTRATERRESTRIAL AND INTERDIMENSIONAL RESEARCH SECTOR OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.”

Yuck, what a mouthful. I could see why that guy earlier had just called it the Sector.

Then I read it again and felt my mouth drop open a bit. Yeah I had seen a lot of insane crap happen since all this started, but _damn,_ it was just so unreal to see that the government really was studying up on this stuff. Could it be that my experience in Aselia wasn’t unique? Were there other people on Earth who knew all about this kind of thing?

Roxy didn’t stop to investigate. She was busy picking out the IP addresses of a few computers in the network and sending out an ~ATH file to each of them.

Wait a second, ~ATH? That was…

The screen cut out again before I had a chance to finish the thought. I stared at the blank phone for a moment, waiting.

There was a sudden rumble in the distance. Then another, and another. Yells of alarm came from the hallway outside, and I heard the sound of footsteps running past. Whoa—had those been explosions?!

 

TG: disraction created  
N: did you just blow up a bunch of computers??  
TG: hells yes i did  
TG: wayyyy too easy imo these guys are no match 4 THE ULTIAMTE HAXXOR  
TG: *ULTIMATSE  
TG: *ULTIMTE  
TG: *w/e  
TG: so like u should prolly go  
TG: while theyre all runnin aroudn  
N: uuhhh  
N: I mean the distraction is really helpful, but I kinda still have no idea where to go  
TG: to the transmantiralizer  
TG: *transmastnirl  
TG: fcuk  
TG: hold on  
N: uh  
N: transmaterializer?  
TG: BINGO  
TG: ty  
TG: kk passing the baton to dirk  
TG: gl on ur crazy secret agent adventure ;)  
N: thanks, I guess?  
N: bye

**\--** tipsyGnostalgic [TG] **disconnected. --**

 

Transmaterializer? That was the teleporty thing, right? Wait no, or was that the transportalizer…dammit, I had read through the rest of Homestuck in such a rush that half of the details were jumbled together.

Okay, so Roxy had blown up some computers, throwing pretty much everyone here off my trail for the time being. That combined with Gamzee ought to buy me enough time to sneak around.

Ugh, Gamzee! I didn’t want to run into him! How the hell was I going to do this? How—

_Passing the baton on to Dirk._

Oh, right. My messenger app was flashing.

 

TT: Hey.  
TT: You there?  
TT: Apologies in advance for interrupting whatever inner monologue you’re probably having, but we’ve got to work fast now that things have been set into motion.  
N: Ah  
N: Sorry! Roxy’s shenanigans just threw me off, and I still have pretty much no idea what’s happening.  
N: other than the fact that I have to find some transmaterializer despite not knowing where it is.  
N: If I run out there, I’m going to get caught  
N: or get maimed by Gamzee, whatever happens first.  
TT: Gamzee?  
TT: Never mind that.  
TT: If it makes you feel better, I’ve got your back.  
TT: Roxy just sent me the program to hack into the security mainframe and now I can see everything that’s going on from the cameras.  
N: Whoa, seriously??  
N: So you can see where that thing is?  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: Follow my instructions and you’ll be there in no time.  
TT: To do...whatever it is you’re supposed to do, I guess.  
N: Got it!  
N: Lead on, Strider!  
TT: Right. Let’s get this show on the road.  
TT: Take a left out of the bathroom, then follow that corridor until you reach a four-way intersection.  
TT: Then take a right and enter the first room you see.  
TT: I’ll give you more directions then.  
N: I’m on it.  
N: brb then.

 

Finally. I pocketed my phone, and then went about getting myself situated. My laptop ended up getting shoved in my bag with the rest of my stuff; thankfully it was a sleek MacBook and it actually fit. Kerberos remained unsheathed, as I didn’t feel quite safe without it right now.

Despite the fact that I was about to go running around a building full of armed agents and an insane homicidal clown, I actually felt pretty good. It was probably the adrenaline. Or maybe I was just happy to be in action again after four months of twiddling my thumbs and feeling useless.

Now I took a deep breath, turning to face the door. The sounds of people running by had passed, though I could still hear muffled shouting coming from somewhere. 

I pushed through the door, moving into the hallway. The coast was clear for now.

As per Dirk’s instructions, I ran down the hall and turned right at the intersection. A few men in suits ran past and I ducked around the corner just in time, watching them as they continued out of sight.

“Hey, you!”

I swung around and kicked at whoever was behind me without hesitation, catching the agent in the knee.

She went down, swearing—but she immediately started to raise her gun. I kicked it out of her hands.

“Sorry,” I said, picking it up. When she started attempting to get up, I kicked her hard in the stomach and she went down again, the wind knocked out of her.

I grimaced and stared at the gun in a moment of hesitation. Maybe it’d be helpful, but—no, no. Fucking Gamzee was around—I couldn’t leave this woman defenseless, she was just doing her job.

“Hey, I’m leaving your gun over here!” I called, setting the weapon down on top of a water cooler thirty feet away. “I know you probably won’t listen, but don’t follow me and stay away from the guy in the codpiece, he’s a fucking lunatic!”

Then I booked it out of there, running directly to the room Dirk had mentioned before she could get up and pursue me. The room I was in looked to be some sort of office—deserted, and therefore safe.

 

TT: Nice going.  
TT: Though if you were genre savvy, you’d realize that you basically just ensured that woman’s success in causing your downfall.  
TT: I’d watch my back if I were you.  
N: Sorry, I didn’t want to knock her out or disarm her because reasons.  
TT: You’re being strangely ambiguous again.  
TT: Don’t forget that I can see everything that’s going on, meaning I know about that guy running around, who is presumably the Gamzee you mentioned earlier.  
TT: He destroys the camera in every room he goes to, which is pretty fucking inconvenient for me but it does allow me to track where he is.  
TT: Speaking of which, you’d better abscond the hell out of there.  
N: WHAT  
N: NONONONO WHERE  
TT: Take a left and then go straight through the next junction. The stairwell will be on your right.  
TT: Bring that umbrella sitting in the coat rack next to you and use it to jam the stairwell doors.  
TT: Then descend to B2. 

 

I wasted no time in getting the hell out of that room, which actually turned out to be empty—Dirk was referring to the hallway just outside of the room. A shadow was standing in the center of the intersection I had just come from.

The woman I had knocked down had managed to get to her feet and retrieve her gun, and she was now standing with her back to me and her weapon trained on the troll.

Part of me wanted to go to her aid, but she still had the option to run if she chose. 

I turned and ran, following Dirk’s directions. At one point I passed a charred hole in the wall, presumably from one of the computers Roxy had blown up. Three agents were standing there and attempting to make sense of it; smoke still flowed from the hole.

Naturally, they gave chase when I sprinted past them. I found the double doors leading to the stairwell and pushed through them, immediately turning around and feeding the closed umbrella through the handles. The agents on the other side attempted to get through to no avail.

Damn, Dirk had some impressive foresight. I smiled and began my descent.

A single man in a suit was running up the stairs. When he saw me, he yelled at me to freeze and began to draw his gun. I kicked him and he fell backwards on to the landing, groaning. Then I proceeded to run past him, onward towards my destination.

I glanced at my phone.

 

TT: Take a right. End of the hallway, and you’re there.  
TT: Heads up. There are a lot of people in lab coats but it doesn’t look like any of them are armed.  
TT: Three armed agents to the left of the stairwell doors.  
TT: One guy is headed down there via elevator.  
TT: Four more headed down the stairwell from the fourth floor.

 

Not good. Maybe I had my sword and an Exsphere, but that didn’t make me immune to bullets. If I had a bunch of guns pointed at me I’d have to surrender.

I paused, hearing the sounds of echoing footsteps from above. They’d be distracted by the guy I kicked down, so that helped a bit. And there were voices coming from outside and to my left, just like Dirk said…

Suddenly my messenger window lit up again. I glanced at it, frowning. What now?

**\--** carcinoGeneticist [CG]  **began trolling** noa748 [N] \--

CG: HEY  
CG: ...WHAT THE FUCK?  
CG: DAMMIT STRIDER  
CG: UGH. HE BETTER HAVE A REAL FUCKING GOOD REASON FOR MESSING AROUND ON MY HUSKTOP.  
CG: ANYWAY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING.  
CG: YOU SAID YOU WOULD “BRB” AND THEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW YOU’RE BEING FORCED OUT THE DOOR BY SOME ASSHOLE IN A WEIRD BLACK TORSO COCOON, WHILE ASSHOLE NUMBER TWO GOES THROUGH ALL THE SHIT IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK.  
CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING HAULED AWAY TO BE CULLED OR SOMETHING, WHAT’S GOING ON?  
N: Have you even talked to Dave at all??  
CG: FOR YOUR INFORMATION THIS METEOR IS PRETTY FUCKING BIG, EXCUSE ME FOR NOT CHECKING IN WITH HIM EVERY FIVE MINUTES.  
CG: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU’RE RIGHT! NEVER MIND EVERY *FIVE* MINUTES, I’LL DO IT EVERY TWO. WHY DON’T WE SET UP A SCHEDULE? I CAN’T BELIEVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE!  
CG: BECAUSE *OBVIOUSLY* MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND KEEPING UP WITH DAVE FUCKING STRIDER AND KNOWING WHERE HE’S AT AND WHAT HE’S DOING AT ALL TIMES.  
N: gdi karkat  
N: protip: use your viewport  
N: no time to talk sorry

 

The footsteps from above were getting closer. Dammit, I shouldn’t have wasted that time reading Karkat’s rant! Gritting my teeth, I turned around and launched into action. Time to get a move on.

I kicked the left door hard and it flew open, surprising the guys that were still standing outside. Wasting no time, I immediately began to sprint down the hall while the agents were gathering their bearings.

“You! Dammit, stop!” That was Clancy. Shit.

One of them fired a warning shot, which I ignored. I just had to trust that they wouldn’t actually aim to kill.

Somehow I managed to make it to the door at the end of the hall. The three men were giving chase behind me; I rushed through the door, slamming it behind me and fumbling for a lock. There was none.

I swore. Needed to move fast.

Like Dirk had said, the room was full of men and women in lab coats, a lot of them standing at computer terminals. They all turned around when I burst in. A few of them protested and asked who I was, but I was too distracted to care.

The transmaterializer I had been told about was on the opposite end of the room. I recognized it—I had definitely seen this before in Homestuck. Didn’t Roxy have one? 

What the hell—what was I supposed to do? How did it work?

I rushed to the computer monitor beside the machine, pushing aside a researcher and muttering an apology as I did so. The others in the room were steering clear, afraid of the huge sword I was lugging around.

The screen had a single window open. A message was displayed below a full loading bar:

**.SBURB FILE: DOWNLOAD COMPLETE**

**INPUTTING COORDINATES...**

**...**

**DESTINATION: A2 VEIL LABORATORY UNIT 23757**

**WARNING!!**

**COORDINATES UNSTABLE**

**PROCEED?**

**[YES] [NO]**

I clicked “yes” just as Clancy and three other agents burst through the door. Hunter had joined them.

“That’s far enough!” Clancy yelled.

Naturally, I disregarded him and hopped right on to the transmaterializer’s platform. The ‘coordinates unstable’ thing made me nervous, but I had gotten too far to turn back now. I just had to trust in everyone that had helped me. Also, I wasn’t too keen on sticking around and hanging out with these guys.

“It’s over. Step off of the platform, Brittany,” Hunter said, walking forward and training his gun on me. His eyes were hard; I could see he was fighting to keep his composure, but it was obvious he was pissed.

Hold on. I had clicked ‘yes,’ but nothing was happening.

I glanced at the computer screen again.

**INSUFFICIENT FUEL**

What?! Shit, shit, _shit!_ No one ever warned me about this! What was I supposed to do now?!

It was now that I noticed an open slot on the machine. The word “EMPTY” flashed above it. Was that the fuel tank or something?

“I won’t tell you a third time,” Hunter warned, his tone growing icy. “Drop your weapon and _step down.”_

He approached with Clancy close at his heels. Clancy also had his weapon raised. Other agents arrived; now seven of them stood behind Clancy and Hunter, forming a rough semicircle around me.

“What if I refuse?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice steady. “You going to kill me?”

In response, I saw his finger move to rest on the trigger. So there was his threat; my heart rate picked up even more.

Nothing was happening. This machine was useless. Oh my god, had I just gone through all that for nothing? Was I going to get recaptured and lose contact with everyone and be trapped in this prison forever?

“There’s no sense in stalling,” Hunter said. “Now—“

“Shit! Steve!” Clancy had turned away, facing a second entrance to the room.

Hunter turned and I followed their gaze. Several of the researchers had cried out and fled as the door slid open, revealing a tall horned figure wearing…

“What the fuck,” I mumbled.

Gamzee. Holy shit. His getup looked even more ridiculous in real life, but at the same time I was utterly terrified. The scars from Nepeta’s claws still marred his face. He didn’t seem to care about that or the agents now aiming their weapons at him; his lips were stretched into a serene smile, his eyes half-lidded.

“Honk.”

“Jesus, that’s—!” Hunter gaped as Gamzee held up a glowing green rock with apparent glee.

“You idiot, do you even realize what you’re holding?!” Clancy yelled.

The troll’s smile just grew into a complete shit-eating grin, and he chucked the uranium into the empty slot on the transmaterializer. A door slid shut, closing the slot, and the word EMPTY stopped flashing.

That was right! Uranium was the fuel! Then that meant—

The platform beneath me started to glow. My eyes widened; it was happening. It was really happening.

_“No!”_ Hunter turned to face me, realizing belatedly what had just occurred.

“The machine—“ Clancy started.

“We can’t stop it!” One of the scientists cried, frantically typing commands at the terminal.

“Honk,” Gamzee added helpfully. He pulled out a small pouch, extracting a handful of glowing green dust.

“What the hell—“ 

Hunter was cut off when Gamzee suddenly flung the powder in his face. He coughed and sputtered, losing his composure and swearing up a storm. Then he fell backwards into Clancy, who also received a faceful of the stuff.

The world around me was fading. There was a glow surrounding me—and, I noticed with alarm, surrounding Hunter and Clancy as well. What was going on?

Then there was a powerful flash, and then everything faded to an infinite black.

\---- 

I had been half expecting it to feel like the warps I had used in Aselia, but the two were nothing alike. For a little while I lost awareness, and then came the sensation of falling.

When I landed, it was with a loud thud. Everything around me was black and I couldn’t even figure out what I had landed on. The place was almost like a dark room, only for some reason I could see myself perfectly well. There was no light, and yet there was? Just thinking about it made my head hurt.

Moving slowly, I got to my feet and looked around. What the hell was this place?

_Coordinates unstable…_

Of course ignoring that message would bite me in the ass. Of fucking _course._ Maybe Dirk was right; I needed to be a little more genre savvy. Not that it’d matter if I had somehow managed to doom myself to this black space for the rest of forever.

“Hello?” I called. My voice didn’t echo, but it didn’t sound muffled either.

“Dave?” My voice raised to a yell. “Dirk? Roxy? _Karkat!”_

“Jeez! Enough with the yelling! What does a girl have to do to get some peace and quiet around here? Apparently dying isn’t enough!”

I jumped, whipping around to find the source of the voice. What—who—

It was a grey skinned girl about an inch taller than me. She had long, thick black hair and a pair of unmistakable bright orange horns—I had just seen horns like that on Gamzee.

She also wore a black shirt with a blue Scorpio’s M sewn into it. Her eyes were completely white.

Vriska. From an astrological standpoint, she was my patron troll. This was kind of exciting in a weird, unexpected way.

Okay, Brittany, you only get one shot at this. Say something cool to save face!

“Um. Hi?” 

NAILED IT. Oh god, I was an idiot.

She stepped forward, leaning over slightly to look me in the eyes.

“Who even are you, anyway? Keep yelling like that and it isn’t just my attention you’ll get, you know.” Vriska grinned ominously, revealing sharp teeth.

Ugh, wasn’t she only like thirteen? How could she be taller than me and so fucking gorgeous? Wait, Karkat had said they’d been on the meteor for a while…had Vriska somehow aged after death or something? Or maybe this was an alternate older Vriska? Or maybe she was just an early bloomer and I was reading way too much into this!

“Hel _loooooooo?”_

I jumped. “Sorry. Uh, my name’s Brittany.”

“Weird! You look different than the other human girls I’ve seen. You must be an adult then, huh? So basically humans as a whole mature a lot like trolls. Bluh, how boring!” Vriska crossed her arms, looking me up and down. “What’re you doing here? I’ve staked this dream bubble out as exclusive Serket territory. You wanna be a member, you gotta earn your keep!”

“Look, I’m not planning on sticking around,” I replied, waving my hands defensively. “Just passing through…I hope, anyway. I was using something sort of like a transportalizer but it dumped me here. It’s kind of a long story.”

She tilted her head. “Oh, I see.”

“You do?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Of course I do! In fact, I think I may be able to help you. All you have to do is do me a teensy favor first!” 

My initial excitement was quickly dying. I really didn’t like the way this was going, considering how manipulative Vriska was.

“Um, Vriska—“

“What did I tell you about keeping quiet, Tavros?” the troll threw her arms up, turning to face someone behind her.

Holy—how had I _missed_ him? This black space was doing funky things to my head. There was no way I could’ve not noticed those huge horns.

Tavros wrung his wrists, looking conflicted. “I, uhh, I definitely remember you telling me not to bother you, but that was hours ago, so I guess I thought it was okay again…”

“Wrong again, Pupa! It’s okay when I say it’s okay, and it is absolutely still not okay! The big kids are discussing important subjects you couldn’t possibly hope to understand right now, all right?” She smirked. “Sitting this one out is for your own good. God, sometimes I don’t know what you’d do without me!”

“I—I disagree, I mean—“ He faltered, gulping. “Well, uh, you’re wrong, in the sense that I know a lot about what you’re talking about, even if you think I don’t, and I like being with you, but sometimes I, um, I just wish you’d be honest—“

“Oh, c’mon! Whoever said I wasn’t being honest? I can help her—that’s not a lie! Lying’s for schmucks! Do you think I’m a schmuck, Tavros?”

“N-No, not really, I just—“

“See? Problem solved! Now shut up already!” She turned back to me, grinning. “Sorry about that. Sometimes I just can’t catch a break!”

I nearly grimaced. Watching Vriska bully Tavros wasn’t exactly the most fun thing in the world, and I kind of really felt bad for him right now. But there was something he’d said that had really caught my attention.

“Actually, I want to know what Tavros was trying to say,” I said, turning to meet the other troll’s empty gaze. 

Tavros flinched a little, opening his mouth to reply, and Vriska immediately turned around and sent him a death glare.

“Uhhhh, it’s just, it’s over there, I think.” He pointed off to the distance, where I could see a tiny speck of white light. “The portal, I mean. To go, um, wherever you’re supposed to go, and, uhh, I don’t think you should listen to Vriska, because you can just go there now, if you want—“

“Laaaaaaaame! You’re such a wimp, Tavros! Think of the fun we could’ve had! The serious loot we could’ve raked in with a third person! We could’ve had all the loot. All of it!”

“But, we can’t really play pirates if—if we’re stuck in this black place, and plus, I don’t think she wants to play—“

“Whatever! I guess it won’t happen now, because somebody couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” Vriska huffed.

“Um…” I blinked. “Aaaanyway, you guys just hash this out, I’m gonna go.” I turned away, but paused just long enough to look over my shoulder. “And for the record, playing pirates with you sounds pretty badass, if I actually had that kind of time.”

“Oh yeah? Y’know, you’ll have _allllllll_ the time in the world if you just stick around!” The girl gave me a fanged grin, pointing at the speck of light. 

“It looks like it’s sort of, um, shrinking, like,” Tavros started haltingly, looking over at me, “I think—I think it’s getting farther away, is what I’m trying to say.”

“You bet it’s getting farther away! At this rate you’ll be joining my crew permanently!” Vriska laughed, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “Ha! I’m declaring Operation: Stall Silly Human Girl an overwhelming success! Good job, Tavros!”

“What? But that wasn’t, wasn’t what I intended—“

_“Shiiiit!”_ I exclaimed when the reality of it dawned on me. These guys were so fucking distracting! I shook off Vriska’s hand, sprinting towards the light in the distance in an attempt to catch it before it vanished completely.

“Better run faster!” Vriska’s voice came from behind me, taunting. “Come _on,_ humans are so _slow!_ Hahaha!”

I pushed myself to run even harder. I ran and ran, until my thoughts were consumed completely by that light.

It was almost electric looking, like the light given off by a computer monitor in a dark room…

\---- 

**[INTERMISSION 1]**

 

On a distant planet, drifting through the cosmos, a man sits in his study. He is alone for the time being. There are others occupying the large castle he resides in, but he generally prefers solitude; not only that, his past attempts to “socialize” with his subordinates have been less than fruitful. 

He sighs. Though he has never been the type to crave company, he will admit that his existence has grown rather monotonous without it. Perhaps he became spoiled during his last journey, too used to human interaction. 

It’s going to be a long rest of his life, he decides.

Out of habit, he presses the button to activate the computer on his desk. The console lights up, revealing a projector screen suspended in midair.

Ah. As expected, the signal emitted from his old home is still far out of reach. He can no longer contact his old friend—hasn’t been able to do so in over a month, as a matter of fact. Still, he finds himself coming back to this nearly every day, hoping for different results. 

Another sigh. The man resolves to add oversentimentality to his list of problems. His friend would be laughing at this nonsense.

Suddenly a window on the screen flashes, causing the man to sit up a little straighter. Could it be…?

No. It is not the same signal, but instead an entirely new one that he had never encountered before. He frowns; this is unprecedented. Who else could be out here? Has he traveled further than he initially thought?

Another window appears, causing the man’s eyebrows to shoot up. Somebody is contacting him. 

The messaging system he’d set up in order to speak to his friend in real-time is apparently compatible with whatever this stranger is using, which in itself is rather unexpected. Interested, he enters a command to allow the contact, thus opening the messenger window.

 

 **\-- ******tipsyGnostalgic [TG] **began pestering** KharlanSeraphim [KS] **\-- ******

TG: hellooooo?  
KS: Who is this?  
TG: wow i cant believe this actulaly worked  
TG: like holy shit  
TG: i just saw this funky wifi network and thought id giv it a whirl since obvs i got nuthin better to do  
TG: and boom  
TG: talkin to some really hot dude like whoa  
KS: ...  
KS: I’d appreciate it if you’d answer my question.  
TG: oh  
TG: right  
TG: roxy at ur service <3  
TG: but enoughabout me  
TG: whats uuuuur name handsome  
KS: Kratos.  
TG: omg  
TG: so fitting  
TG: like  
TG: like some kinda mytholalogical god  
TG: srsly digging the hair  
TG: like u jsust got up this mornin n decidded u had no fucks left to give  
TG: swoooooon <3  
KS: ...Are you finished?  
TG: mayyyb  
KS: How are you able to see me?  
TG: u dont have a viewport??  
TG: where even r u from i just cant figure it out  
KS: I’m on a planet called Derris-Kharlan. I’ve never heard of this viewport you’re using.  
TG: o well  
TG: in that case  
TG: i am definiteley within ur age group *wonk*  
KS: I doubt that.  
TG: wroth a shot  
TG: *worth  
KS: Hmm.  
KS: You’re intoxicated.  
TG: y ever would u think taht  
TG: fyi mister grumpy mcsexypants i am th fuckin PICTURE of soabriety  
TG: as sober ass i am beauiutifal  
KS: I’m sure.  
KS: I’ll admit I’m interested in who you are and where you come from, but you’re clearly in no condition to be speaking to me.  
KS: Contact me again when you can attain some level of coherence.  
TG: wait

**\--** KharlanSeraphim [KS] **has disconnected. --**

TG: kratoes no  
TG: aww :(

 

Kratos Aurion pushes away from the computer, disgruntled. He had known there was intelligent life beyond Aselia, though much of Cruxis’ research on the subject is lost. But of course, he remembers Brittany and her tales of Earth, so naturally it is a disappointment to him that he couldn’t get more information out of that Roxy girl. 

But he refuses to entertain a drunk, especially one who shamelessly makes passes at him every other sentence. The very thought of it makes him cringe. It takes a lot to make Kratos cringe.

He stands up, turning off the projector screen and stepping away from the desk. There are other matters he needs to attend to.

In the meantime, he decides to wait and see. If this strange signal lasts, perhaps there will be more conversations to come. It makes no difference—he will never leave Derris-Kharlan—but his curiosity is piqued nonetheless.

If nothing else, this ought to kill some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, it's Kratos, all right. I'm so excited to write him, it's going to be so much fun having him interact with the HS characters :D 
> 
> Not to mention Kratos is the only character here other than OC Brit that I have extensive experience writing. XD everyone else is new for me! Still getting the hang of it. I struggled with Vriska in particular this chapter, hngh. And DAMN, translating Tavros' quirk into actual speech...XD
> 
> Anyway, until next time!


	5. [I] Kratos: answer TT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two badasses speak. Awwyeah.

Derris-Kharlan has changed little over the past four months. It is one thing he has grown used to over the long millennia of his existence; while the outside world exists in a state of constant change, here time stands still. Day and night are nonexistent. Overhead are the purple mana-filled clouds that make up the planet’s atmosphere, there as they have always been.

Today there is a break in the clouds, and Kratos pauses to stare up at the distant stars. They’re much different than he remembers; he can no longer see his old constellations.

He shakes his head, pushing the thoughts from his mind. There is no sense in brooding over the things he cannot control. Instead he moves to the edge of the platform he stands on, staring out over the city of Welgaia. Angels roam the city still. The robotic apathy of their movements isn’t quite as bad as it used to be, but he still notices it.

Every last one of the angels once existed as a soulless puppet, existing solely to carry forth the will of their master. There were many who had mindlessly sacrificed themselves for a goal they no longer had the capacity to understand. He has restored those individuals that are left, given them a special accessory to combat the parasitic effects of their Cruxis Crystals, but still…some of them spent centuries in that impaired state. It is impossible to bring back their old personalities. Now they exist as shells of their former selves, their identities gone, their families dead, their time stolen.

It is truly a terrible situation. Their inability to socialize isn’t the only reason why Kratos avoids their company—the truth is, his regret runs so deep that he feels too ashamed to face them. They deserve better than his company. He, who stood by and allowed this to happen.

Kratos closes his eyes, shutting out the image of the desolate city. He has resolved to remedy the situation. Though he has lived a very long life already, he cannot leave things as they are. He will bring life back to these people and give them a world they can be happy in. He will not die yet; he has not earned the _right_ to die. There is still too much left to be done. 

He heads down to the warp leading to the inner city and steps on. The device takes him to his destination and he walks out on to the street.

Angels float past him as he makes his way through the city, some of them hovering with their feet mere inches above ground. Some of them are so accustomed to the dronelike motion of flapping their wings that just walking normally has become a chore. 

After a few minutes he comes to a tower in the center of the city. Many of the interior rooms are barren due to the tower being the result of a project that was never quite finished, but the top floor is fully functional. He moves inside and punches the code for the elevator into the adjacent keypad. 

At the top floor is an observatory, one of the two remaining facilities on Derris-Kharlan. He approaches the telescope and looks through the lens.

The view presented to him is an immense expanse of stars. It is what he always sees when he makes the weekly excursion to this place, but somehow today is different. It’s almost as if he can sense something _beyond,_ as if the boundaries of space are hazy…

Kratos frowns, pulling away from the lens and pressing a button on the side of the telescope. It transfers the image on to a large computer screen on the east wall, allowing him to see everything in more detail.

Somewhere in that space, he sees something shift, and something flickers in and out of view. How odd…almost as if there were _layers_ to outer space—but that couldn’t be possible, could it?

Still, his brow furrows and he inputs a few commands into the computer, zooming in on that spot. Something flickers again, and—and he refuses to believe that was _Earth_ he had just seen.

There were dozens of images of the planet saved in Cruxis’ files. It is the only alien planet Cruxis was successfully able to come into contact with. Of course he knows what it looks like, but that can’t possibly be it. Earth exists in an entirely different universe.

Kratos frowns and decides to leave the screen up for a while. He is used to spending long hours in here anyway. The seraph approaches a coffee machine he set up here months ago, and sets about brewing a pot. 

Only a few minutes pass before he is seated comfortably in a chair, sipping at a mug of black coffee and opening a folder of documents. Another one of his personal projects—he is going through Mithos’ personal archives, keeping what is relevant and destroying the rest. The people of this planet do not need to be burdened with dark memories of his reign. The Age of Lifeless Beings never came to pass, and it never will.

An hour flies by while he does this. The image on the computer screen remains largely unchanged throughout this period, so he is surprised when he suddenly sees the screen flash and the telescope’s video feed minimize.

His messaging program, which is accessible from any computer in Welgaia, is flashing again. Kratos raises his eyebrows and debates ignoring it for a moment, but then eventually gives in and stands up.

He approaches the computer and enters the command to allow the contact. The window pops up.

 

** \-- ** timaeusTestified [TT] **began pestering** KharlanSeraphim [KS] **\--**

TT: Huh.  
TT: So Roxy wasn’t having one of her post-martini blackout dreams again. The connection really exists.  
TT: This is all kinds of fucked up.

 

Kratos’ brow furrows. Someone else now? Interesting. At least this person doesn’t seem to be under the influence.

 

KS: So it seems.  
KS: Who am I speaking to?  
TT: Name’s Dirk.  
TT: You’re apparently Kratoes or Kratato or something along those lines, am I right?  
KS: ...Kratato?  
TT: That’s my personal favorite. Please let your name be Kratato.  
KS: It’s Kratos.  
TT: Close enough.  
TT: So here’s the deal, Kratos.  
TT: I’ve done some looking into it, and this connection shouldn’t even be possible.  
TT: The location of your signal doesn’t even match up with anything I’ve seen before,  
TT: And this is coming from a dude with two best friends living four hundred years in the past.  
KS: I’m drifting through space on a planet called Derris-Kharlan. I couldn’t tell you any specifics about my location, only that I have been adrift for about four months.  
KS: Where are you?  
TT: Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.  
TT: Though I guess those names probably have no significance to someone from another planet.

 

His hands freeze over the keys as a single word he never thought he’d see again stares back at him.

Earth.

This had to be more than a mere coincidence. What he had seen earlier…had that been real, then?

 

TT: What’s with that look?  
KS: I know of Earth.  
KS: Are you familiar with a Brittany Furness?  
TT: What?  
TT: Holy shit, are you serious?  
TT: I just finished talking to her twenty minutes ago.  
TT: How do you know her?  
KS: It’s a long story. She’s an old comrade.  
KS: The organization I once belonged to made contact with Earth in the past. It’s how I met her.  
TT: Comrade? That’s an oddly militaristic term to use.  
KS: Hardly the point.  
TT: Regardless, I’m beginning to understand the sword she was carrying with her.  
TT: The Earth she’s from looks considerably less messed up, corrupt governmental organizations aside.  
TT: But if she’s in cahoots with a bunch of aliens, then I guess the sword makes more sense.  
KS: “The Earth she’s from”? Are you suggesting there is more than one?  
TT: Well, yeah.  
TT: Alternate universes.  
TT: We might both be from Earth, but we’re from different instances of the same universe.  
KS: How are you able to speak to her, then?  
TT: I’ve been wondering that myself.  
TT: Must be because we’re both part of the same Sburb session somehow.  
TT: You don’t know what Sburb is, do you?  
TT: You’re out of the loop.  
KS: Hm. Excuse my ignorance.  
KS: It has been months since I’ve received any sort of news from beyond Derris-Kharlan.  
KS: I was not expecting to hear of her—or Earth, for that matter—again.  
TT: Parted ways for good, huh?  
TT: Damn.  
TT: I’d offer to pass along a message for you,  
TT: But my connection with her seems to have cut out.  
TT: Sorry, man.  
KS: Don’t worry about it.  
KS: It’s probably for the best.  
TT: Well, her chumhandle’s noa748, if you want to try contacting her on your own.  
KS: Chumhandle?  
TT: Trolltag. Username. Whatever your ridiculously dated client calls it.

 

“Lord Kratos.”

He glances away from the screen, having heard the angel’s approach but still a bit miffed at the interruption. The seraph turns to face his subordinate; the badge on the angel’s uniform identifies him as one of the lower ranking guards that patrols the central parts of the city.

Guards…as if there is any need for so many guards anymore. The monsters on Derris-Kharlan are few and far between, and a few stronger angels patrolling Welgaia’s outskirts would be sufficient. But he has not stripped them of their duties—after all, what would be the alternative? Allow them to wander aimlessly as they were so wont to do?

“What is it?” Kratos asks, pushing those thoughts away. He broods over these things entirely too much as it is.

“Intruders in the lower city,” the angel answers in a near-monotone, but when his voice cracks, Kratos notices the blood.

At first he didn’t see it due to the angel’s raven wings, but now he sees the liquid soaking the feathers of the right appendage. There is an injury in the flesh near the base of the wing, steadily leaking blood.

“Let me see,” he says, moving in immediately.

The angel’s youthful face contorts a bit before smoothing out again. “Ah—intruders, my lord—we pursued them but they escaped, I have been ordered to ask for your guidance—“

“They did this to you?” Kratos prompts, reaching out to stretch the wing a bit and get a better look at the wound. It seems to be an odd sort of puncture wound—but no, not quite. Something is lodged in the muscle. He will have to remove it before any healing magic can be applied.

“Y-yes,” the angel replies, his composure finally crumbling. “It—it hurts—“

Kratos feels a surge of pity. The angels of Derris-Kharlan had recovered their emotions and their ability to feel—that is both a blessing and a curse. They do not know how to handle pain. It is a terrifying sensation for them.

He removes his hands, allowing the wing to relax. “Don’t move that.” 

The seraph turns back to the computer screen, frowning as his mind catches up. Intruders in Welgaia? That had to mean non-angels, but how could that be possible?

Either way, he plans to fix this angel’s wing before dealing with whatever is happening outside. There are more than enough armed Welgaians; surely they can handle the matter for a few minutes. He knows that if he leaves this one alone, he will unwittingly attempt to use the damaged appendage and continue his duties.

Kratos positions his hands at the keyboard once more.

 

KS: Forgive me, but some pressing matters have come up.  
TT: Yeah, that’s pretty obvious.  
TT: What’s wrong with that guy’s wing?  
TT: You know what, never mind.  
TT: Do whatever you have to do.  
KS: Thank you.  
KS: I will return later.

**\--** KharlanSeraphim [KS] **has disconnected. --**

 

Turning away from the computer, he pulls a dagger from his belt. He unsheathes it and offers the sheath to the angel, who stares at it blankly.

“Bite down on this,” Kratos instructs.

The angel doesn’t understand but does as he is told without question; he is still unwilling to disobey an order from one of the Seraphim. He places the sheath between his teeth and holds it there.

“Are you prepared?” the auburn haired man asks quietly, and his subordinate nods. 

Kratos moves decisively, pushing the tip of the dagger’s blade into the wound. He pushes an index finger in as well, catching the foreign object—it almost feels like a rock—between the pad of his finger and the flat of the blade. The angel lets out a scream of agony, his body spasming.

But Kratos was fast—he had already removed the object, placing it on a nearby table before immediately moving in and casting a healing spell on the injury. His subordinate relaxes, breathing heavily. The dagger’s sheath clatters to the floor and the angel presses a hand to his forehead, sweating.

“…All right. That should suffice for now,” the seraph remarks, the glow of magic fading from his hand. “I would advise against using that wing for a while.”

“Th-Thank you, my lord,” comes the shaky reply.

“Hmm.” Kratos tilts his head in acknowledgement, showing little emotion—though in truth this entire scenario is a bit bizarre to him. It is still strange to see the angels becoming more…well, more _human,_ for lack of a better word. He can remember a time when the Cruxis soldiers would simply take wounds without so much as flinching, bleeding profusely but unable to feel.

But still, this is a step forward. It’s a sort of rehabilitation. He hopes that slowly, they will learn to live again.

In the meantime, however…there are other matters to address.

“Return to your quarters and rest,” Kratos orders. “I will take care of the intruders. The lower city, correct?”

“Yes, sir,” the angel replies.

“Very well,” he says with a nod. “You’re dismissed.”

His subordinate hesitates for a moment, but then finally bows and walks out. The seraph watches him leave before reaching down to pick up the object he’d pulled out of the wound. He holds it up to the light, examining it.

Strange. It’s made of some sort of metal—the front of the object is warped into a shape vaguely reminiscent of a flower. He frowns, tuning it over in his hands. Copper, he muses. The tip seems to be made of copper. Some sort of projectile weapon? It must have been shot at a high speed for the impact to have distorted its shape like this. 

Kratos places the object back on the table and turns his thoughts to the intruders. Perhaps they are going to be a bit more of a nuisance than he had initially thought.

He reveals his own iridescent wings, the glow from the feathers reflecting faintly off of the metallic surfaces in the room. Then he moves to a ladder on one end of the room and uses it to ascend to the roof of the tower.

Spreading his wings, he leaps off of the roof and takes to the air. The lower city is just a short flight away.

\---- 

The men had been on the run for a while, it seemed, but they are finally cornered. Kratos surveys the situation from above, standing on a tall building.

Two figures stand in the center of the city square, back to back. They are surrounded on all sides by angels. The angels begin to close in, weapons raised, and the figures tense. 

Time to put an end to this, he decides.

Kratos jumps down from the building, using his wings to slow his descent. He lands mere feet away from the circle of angels, his sword drawn.

The crowd of angels parts, lowering their weapons when he signals for them to do so. The intruders turn to face him and he pauses to note their appearances.

They are both dressed in formal dark suits, strange attire that only the higher-ups of the Lezareno company seem to favor. But still, these outfits seem overly simplistic, though made of high quality material; he has never seen anything like them before.

Aside from that, one of them is wearing a pair of sunglasses, which seems like an oddly informal addition to his attire. He is taller and lankier than his partner, possessing disheveled dirty blond hair.

His partner is more solidly built, his skin slightly darker and his brown hair trimmed very short. They are young, most likely in their late twenties to early thirties.

Humans.

Kratos frowns slightly, hiding his shock at this fact. It’s impossible; even if these two were from Aselia and had somehow ended up here without his knowing, they would have been discovered months ago. Somehow he doubts they are from Aselia. They seem entirely too alarmed and bewildered, as if this place is completely new to them. 

The two are aiming sleek looking black metallic objects at him. His frown deepens, and he understands that these must be their weapons. Capable of firing metal projectiles, more damaging than mere arrows. A hit on the vitals could be lethal to the average human or half elf. 

He takes a few steps forward despite this. He does not fear these weapons. He can see the hole where the projectile is fired from; avoiding the hit is as simple as watching the muscle movement in the opponent’s hand, judging the trajectory of the projectile based on the angle of the weapon, and moving in the appropriate direction in anticipation of the attack. 

“Who the hell are you?” the dark haired one speaks first, clearly agitated. “Are you their leader? What is this place?”

Kratos glances around. Several of the angels here are wounded, and he had passed one that was unconscious on the way here. He will have to see to their wounds and assign a healer to clean up the mess.

“Lower your weapons,” he instructs the men. “I cannot guarantee your safety if you fail to comply.”

The man who had spoken now offers him a scowl, but his partner shakes his head in disapproval and throws his weapon down. It skids to a stop at Kratos’ feet; the seraph bends down to pick it up.

“Fine.” The angry one complies and follows suit. 

Kratos nods, and then turns to some of the angels. “Take them to Vinheim. I will return shortly. Those of you that are wounded, remain with me.”

The dark haired man swears under his breath, and his partner lets out a minute sigh. Though they are both very tense, they do not put up a fight as the angels surround them once more and force them on their way.

“…Hold on.”

The seraph walks over to examine the men up close, noting that the blond one is bleeding from a gash in his side.

“First Aid,” Kratos murmurs, a green light flowing from the palm of his outstretched hand.

The blond’s eyes are hidden behind his sunglasses, but Kratos sees his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. The man reaches down to press a hand to the closed wound, as if to confirm the healing had actually taken place.

“Thank you,” he finally says, and Kratos nods.

“How…?” The brunet’s agitated demeanor fades and he is at a loss for words.

Kratos waves them on, and the angels continue past him. He watches them leave.

He wants answers, but now is not the time or place to be questioning the men; it will have to wait. In the meantime, he begins the process of tending to the injured. Perhaps the angels involved in the pursuit would have some tidbits of information for him.

First the odd connection to an alternate Earth, and now this…

The timing is too precise to be a coincidence. He is beginning to get the sense that this may be part of a larger chain of events, and that is troubling to him.

It seems his period of self-imposed solitude may be coming to an end.

**[INTERMISSION 1: END]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter devoted entirely to Kratos? You bet! Sorry this was a bit shorter than usual. Anyway, we'll find out what the hell happened to Brit next time, so look forward to that ;D


End file.
